Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize