So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
