So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
