she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
