Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
