We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
