North Korea, Best Korea!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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