yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
