hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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