My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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