Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
