Dual....:-)
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize