Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If I die, sorry about rent.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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