gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
