Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
