Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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