If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
