She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
