i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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