The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize