Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
