this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
