THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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