just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
