All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
