if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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