What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
