I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
