If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize