I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
