i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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