We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
