So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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