the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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