you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
