Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
