at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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