You're so nebulous sometimes
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
