if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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