Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
is wine microwaveable?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize