Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
