At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
