I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
