do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
