forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
