made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
