I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I supernannyed him into submission
I think I just shit out all my problems.
there is glitter all over my balls
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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