You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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