There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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