I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I FOUND THE LEGS
last night I used snow as a chaser
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
