just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
