sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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