My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
