I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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