I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
