We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
