Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
