You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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