i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
