Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
