no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
