can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
