My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
