I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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