Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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