Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
